Counting on Others.....Counting Your Blessings!

The past few weeks have been more than a challenge. I have had more downs than ups, more flare-ups than I would like to count, and an overwhelming desire to just curl up and sleep until 2015. But the electric bill still needed to be paid, costumes needed to be made, and daily life continued to usher me painfully through each day. Then came THE day. When I just could not get up. The pain, intense and all encompassing, held me captive to my bed. I could not move a single limb, could not gather a coherent thought let alone speak intelligibly. AND NOTHING MADE IT BETTER! There was nothing in my cocktail of prescription medications that could address the pain, and so I just lay.

Enter stage left……My Hero.

My fiance swoops in, takes charge of the children, the chores, the bills and the care of my body and soul. While I rest he gets the children dressed and off to school, plays peek-a-boo with our 13 month old daughter and cooks dinner in between doing the laundry and cleaning the bedrooms. Then it’s time for the afternoon/evening routine and he’s off picking the oldest children up from school, helping with their homework, getting dinner and baths completed then laying them down for bed. And then there’s me. He’s kissing me gently on the head and telling me it will get better, he’s rubbing my back and my legs in the evening when he finally has a “free” moment. I hear him peeking in on me through the closed bedroom door the moments when he thinks I’m waking, and he stands ready to fulfill my every wish. 

Who wouldn’t love to have this treatment? To have their significant other be able to grab the reigns and keep family life as normal as possible almost with out skipping a beat. Like many others who live with fibromyalgia and chronic pain, I actually had to learn to appreciate such a wonderful blessing. You see, being able to accept the help requires admitting that the help is actually needed. I repeat….accepting the help means admitting that the help is actually needed. But I, like many other women, parents, and individuals with fibro, pride myself on the ability to multi-task, keep my home running smoothly, and “do it all”. You know….be superwoman! So accepting the wonderful care that my fiance was and is so happily willing to give has forced me to re-evaluate what I can and cannot do. Something I just did NOT want to do. I had to come to terms with how fibromyaglia has reshaped my life, my capabilities, and the way I go about getting things accomplished. But more importantly, what fibromyalgia has allowed me to do is learn to open myself to others, and to count on others. As humans we are not meant to be alone, to face trials alone, to experience success and or failure alone. We are meant to be in unity with one another. I have come to understand this principle now more than ever, and in a most unexpected way, fibromyalgia has lead me in this direction. So now instead of critiquing my fiance for not folding the laundry the way I would, or cooking the meal I had originally listed on the weekly menu for that day (all a manifestation of my deep desire to maintain a level of control over a situation in which I have none), I thank him for his tenderness, I hug him in appreciation of his strength, and I uplift him in gratitude of his commitment to our family.

Instead of looking at all that we have lost on account of living with fibromyalgia, we must look to all that we have gained. If you are lucky enough to have a partner who gives their all, or at least tries their best to support you when you can no longer support yourself, allow yourself to receive that love and learn to count it as a blessing! I know I have.

Take care of yourself and others!

May God Bless Your Journey!